we interrupt our regularly scheduled programming...

to bring you this terribly depressing post. but it's 2:30ish am, no one else is up & tears are threatening to overtake me so what to do but share with the internetz!

leaving AGAIN. sucks. made so much worse by the anticipated absence of my friend. the military said it was their time to go so they did. and i got left behind. and i have SO much to be thankful for but sometimes in the midsts of grief and anger, it is so hard to remember. i left a sister behind, in a country where she is alone and sometimes happy. but i fear the loneliness weighs on her. and i am sad. i am leaving my family behind-blood and not. and new lives are forming while others are slowly coming to a close. and while i am overjoyed to see my husband and my kiddos, 5 faces that i have grown to love will be missing from the scenery. and the beginning of another period of loneliness threatens to eat me alive.

i know this is what we have to do. i know this is what God has put before us. but my human self is oh so doubtful of the plans He has for us. my heart aches. and the tears have begun to spill.