Thursday, April 12, 2018

well hello there.

so i'm kind of thinking maybe some things should move over here, away from fb. and so here we are. back again. maybe to stay. but we always say that, don't we?

there's a new hashtag about. maybe you've seen it? #crazymother or #crazymothers. it's →this

and this BOTHERS me. i'm listening to it again here, now, as i write. it makes me weepy. here's my connection to it: almost 22 years ago, my first (bio)child had the DPT and slept for 24 hours. i had to force her awake to eat. a few months, later, she had the second DPT and, i swear to you, she screamed for a week. this time she didn't sleep. neither did i. she screamed, i cried. best i could manage for her was about 20 minutes in the swing and then she'd wake to scream again. this time i reported to her doctor. P(ertussis) was taken off of her vaccine schedule. guess what? she didn't scream like that again.

vaccine-induced encephalopathy, she, at 4 months, would have been having horrid terrible headaches as lesions formed in her tiny brain. ever had a migraine as an adult? ever had to hide in your room for hours or days on end as you cried and cowered and vomited from the pain? that was my 4 month old daughter. but she was 4.months.old. she didn't know what terror was overtaking her. she only knew that she hurt and nothing helped. ah, but they've CHANGED that nasty old "P" vaccine. it's all better now. it's aP now. all better. except.

we continued to vaccinate. fast forward 12-13 years. another daughter. few months in, weeping eczema rashes on her cheeks. more months passed, highly reactive respiratory system. more months and multiple food allergy and asthma diagnoses. (but, but there's not a "P" vaccine anymore! and these symptoms aren't the same as your first daughter who had the "P" issue! so what's YOUR issue, lady?)

i cannot definitively prove a link but i do know that my least vaccinated children are my healthiest compared to my others and to their peers. and the literature supports that the symptoms/conditions that my second daughter faced/faces currently can be a result of vaccination. so. i'm just saying.
what if i HADN'T done what everyone else does, just because that's what you do? maybe neither one of them would have ever had an issue?

 i don't have this conversation often. i avoid it mostly. cause, you know, i don't want to be called a #crazymother complete with eye rolling and head shaking and glares. but i know what i've seen and i know what i've read and i know about screaming for a week on end and hospital stays for asthma and prescription costs and pictures of bloody weeping eczema cheeks and i know that, comparatively, i'm a "lucky" one. i still have my whole child.

a whole lot of the other #crazymothers don't.