my...well, just my.

i put on a cute pair of shorts today. i don't usually wear shorts. because where i'm usually from, most everyone is not as pigmentally challenged as i am. so i stand out like a sore thumb. a blinding sore thumb. seriously, wear your sunglasses. but here? where i am now? i fit in! people don't worship the sun here. they actually walk around under umbrellas when it's bright out so they can keep their pretty skin and not be walking advertisements for chemotherapy. nice, huh?
anyway. these shorts. i love them. they are linen...i love linen. wrinkles and all, i love linen. so cool and light. so nice. and they are drawstring which i like too. not that i can explain that. i just do.
and i put them on. and made the mistake of looking in a mirror. what the holy hell? where exactly did that ass come from? i am just disgusted. it didn't seem like i still had any baby weight left. matter of fact, the scale swears to me that i don't have any baby weight left. and most of my pants are actually just a little too loose. and i always "lose" my hiney at about 8 months pregnant & don't get it back until the baby is about 3 years old (ok, so i've only done the getting back part once but i swear it happened). so why do i look like i am about 3 feet wide from the back? littlest is only 14 months old! guess it's time to get the elliptical out of the laundry room where it's been since...um...**blushing**...it was "temporarily" placed there while we had house guests. yeah. definitely time to get it out of there.
and my dear 1? mr. perennial foot in his mouth himself? when asked if he thought my butt looked bigger? answered...you're just getting back what you lost. !!! whatever dude. guess what you just lost? that's right. better start kissing that big huge butt now if you have any hopes of redemption.